I’m at the office- It’s 5 O’clock & Romeo is with Nico at our house. I left at 3- reluctant- but in need of some serious catch up… as i was getting dressed, i was writing this post in my head. as i was writing the post in my head- i thought about designing this graphic- it totally sums up my daily efforts to look the way i want my day to go. – feel free to pin it, copy it, print it, whatever… i hope it tickles you as much as it does me- isn’t it the truth?
it’s a funny thing to desire balance, work hard for it- and for it to consistently elude you. i suppose instead of funny, i should say it’s maddening.
If my life were perfect (as i would dream it) we would live in a big house, filled with light, the walls would be white, covered with great art, and the furnishings would be modest, simple, and sparse. my children would eat breakfast in sweet pajamas, we would sing and dance until it was time to get dressed and head out for our walk. we would live in a neighborhood filled with every race- every culture, every type of person- so that my children could only distinguish by saying things like “I want to play with the blue shirt boy.” We would play, dream, laugh, create, cook, eat, love, laugh more, talk, explore, and enjoy our life. My office would be behind my house- it too would be open, filled with light, and walls would be covered with inspiration i’ve collected from all over the world. i would work there in the afternoons, my clients would come for tea more often than business, and the energy would always be free and open. i would earn a modest living & spend most moments snuggling with my family and hosting friends & loved ones. My day would be simple. I would exercise daily and grown herbs and veggies in my garden behind my house. i would walk into my closet- choose something lovely, put it on, and feel beautiful- as beautiful as my life. i would look in the mirror and see what my husband does- a strong woman, mufti-faceted, completely complex, sensitive, hopeful, and beautiful. i would treat those around me the way i felt- i would long for them to feel the way i did… loved, treasured, whole. i would pour out love without the thought of getting anything in return. i would live each day like the gift that it is. if my life were perfect.
doesn’t that sound beautiful? i could live my days lost in that dream… pressing into it- making choices to reach it- and always- it’s just beyond my reach- and so, i am disappointed. even in the midst of my real life, the life i’ve been given, filled with joy and beautiful things… i can still be disappointed.
i still can’t stand the majority of my closet- though i constantly sort through it
i still see every blemish when i look in the mirror or at a photograph
i am still blown away at the end of the day when i see the outfit i chose in the morning (whyyyy did i try that sweater? ugh!)
i still sit in my apartment (as cool as it is) and wish i was sitting in a house
i still can’t touch my toes without effort – but never seem to make it to a yoga class
i still want to see friends and family more- but don’t seem to find the time to make it happen
IS ANYONE WITH ME?
i’m making a list today- a REAL life list.
a list of little things i can do daily that will make my life more of the life i want.
i’m also going to make a list of the parts of my day that are the hardest for me. (& then, i’m going to ask myself why that is- and answer honestly)
i have to say- i’ve never actually articulated my dream life- it’s something crazy to read it- to see it in front of me… it seems just a bit more tangible. maybe that was supposed to be the first step.
so, why don’t we step together?
write out what your dream life would be.
list the ways you can move towards it on a daily basis.
list the things you struggle with- and ask yourself why.
i hope this saturday finds you well- i’ll be here at the office for many more hours…
i’m so thankful to have a romeo who supports my creative pursuits… even when it means he has to make his own dinner.
that friends, is love.